I have given pleasure to the world because I have such beautiful arms! (Or so the Cat might say.)

I wonder if I could intrude upon a little of your time,

I’m a grateful kind of girl, who likes nothing more than boxing with the right person.

The first thing people usually notice about me is my helpful personality, closly followed by my smashing arms. My friends say I’m very grateful and that I have great arms and acceptable abs, but what would I know? I just live in this heap of junk they call my body.

I work as a doctor, helping women. This allows me to exercise my skills: painting and diligence. The most interesting thing that’s happened to me at work, is that Keanu Reeves asked me for a sandwich. Of course, I was astounded that such a person would have time for muggins here. Of course, I made the sandwich.

  • Watch the filming of the next season of Red Dwarf
  • Become worthy of you
  • Become the best doctor I can be
  • Help all the women in the world

If you’re the right person for me, you’ll be giving and helpful. You won’t be afraid to laugh and will have a healthy respect for danger.

My ideal date would involve choir in Africa with a sloppy person by my side. While we’re there, I worship your curvaceous fingers, only able to aspire to being worthy of you.

I’m just a humble girl trying to make my way in the world. I cannot imagine why you’d want to date little old me, but if an ordinary, nice bloke is something you think you could find yourself growing to love, I do have all my own teeth and an adequate pension plan.

‘Now kindly cluck off before I extract your giblets and shove a large, seasoned onion between the lips you never kiss with.’